Fluff from Perversity
by Sandataba
Summary: Tenten finds out first-hand that there is no allure to practicing espionage in the hot springs. Mentions of nudity. Kakashi x Tenten


Disclaimer: The usual. If I owned Naruto, I'd buy you a monkey. Haven't you always wanted a monkey?

**Fluff from Perversity**

"Argh!! My eyes!" Tenten howled, thrashing around. She did this in the privacy of her closet, inside her room, as she relived the horrible memory of having to sneak into the men's communal hot springs. What kind of a mission was that anyway? Shinobi outnumbered kunoichi two to one, and she was the only one Tsunade could have assigned to spy on naked men?

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_"I perform prostate exams," Sakura had told her bluntly. "Be glad Shishou didn't take you as an apprentice, Tenten."_

_'Well, that's just rubbing salt--'_

_"I posed as a sugar mommy for a week in a gay bar,' Ino sipped her cool liquid refreshment, 'It's much worse having to watch them __do__ stuff to each other, you know.'_

_Hinata just shifted wide eyes from one girl to another. "I have always been able to see through clothing with the Byakugan, when I had to," she offered quietly, "It will not be so bad, Tenten."_

_-------------_

It had not been hard. No indeed, not even if she had been spying on male ninjas. After all, no male would believe any woman to be desperate or perverted enough to try to spy on unclad men. Also, Tenten didn't have a problem with naked men. Really. She was a kunoichi and desensitized with all the physical aspects of their profession. Rock Lee and Gai wore figure-hugging green jumpsuits all day long, for heaven's sake. It was just that...

She burst out of her closet and flung herself on her bed, letting loose an extra long scream into her pillow.

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_"Is it true then, Jiraiya? Your next book will feature the Hokage herself?" the men laughed as Jiraiya preened. From her vantage point overlooking the hot springs, Tenten wanted to gouge out her eyes._

_It began to dawn on her that this was the objective of her reconnoissance, the confirmation that Jiraiya was getting set to print the newest Icha Icha with Tsunade as the featured female lead. '_

Protection of the dignity of the leader of the Hidden Leaf Village my ass_!' Tenten boiled internally, '_I'm sacrificing my OWN dignity for THIS?!'

_This was completely different from the other girls' missions. They had been sent to spy on strangers. Tenten KNEW these people! _

_--------------_

"That-- that-- Hokage!!!" she gritted, curling up to a fetal position, then alternately stretching out in a futile effort to somehow twist the embarrassment she was feeling somewhere far away from her. This would certainly provide weeks of incentive for her training. Whenever her energy would flag, she would only have to think of this incident, and the shame would bring about a renewed surge of adrenaline that would keep her going. This was actually how she lasted so long on Team Gai, her sensei and Lee were constant sources of embarrassment and she trained extra hard just so she wouldn't have the energy left to cringe whenever she thought about the silliness she had to endure.

This, though, this was perverted. Gai-sensei had never made them do perverted. Intentionally, at least.

"It was not a worthy cause, Tsunade-sama!!" she finally sat up and yelled at the ceiling. It was only then that she noticed her visitor, who was regarding her with an all-too-cheerful eye crinkle.

"Ah, how low the idol falls from her pedestal," the lifelong rival of her jounin instructor sighed. He must have enjoyed watching her writhe about on her bed for a while now, his chakra was completely hidden.

"Kakashi-sensei!" it was not possible for her to flush any darker in her current state, so she paled instead. He noted with approval that she instantly took stock of her options and had a ready response to him, "What are you doing here?" Neatly, as if she had no idea why he had followed her back to her apartment.

"I don't suppose you saw me at the hot springs," he scratched his chin thoughtfully and observed from the corner of his eye, again with approval, that not a muscle in her body twitched in reaction to his words.

"What are you talking about?" it was easier to be deliberately vague than to lie. Tenten gave him that guileless look that had felled so many lesser men on more important missions.

"Now, now, Tenten," he leaned down to squint at her in a friendly manner, as she had often seen him do with Sakura in earlier times, "Don't play _innocent _with me. The eyeful you got certainly wouldn't leave any girl innocent."

She frowned, projecting that she was trying to remain proper in the face of impropriety. Dealing with green beasts for five straight years certainly paid off, "Now, now, Kakashi," she mimicked his words at him, "What are you talking about?" It was textbook response to interrogation tactics, stick to your story. Keep it simple.

"Ah," she couldn't tell if he was pleased with her or exasperated. He was both.

"Tell you what," he said, jovial as could be "I'll save you the trouble of facing Tsunade and confirm for her that Jiraiya is indeed writing her into the Icha Icha series, so she can pre-emptively pound his head in the way she usually does."

Tenten stared at him for a while, wondering at the offer as he did his eye crinkle thing at her. She had the stray passing thought that the Copy Nin was paying her more attention now than he had ever paid her own sensei, but of course Gai had never tried to spy on Kakashi naked.

She sighed, then lowered her eyes and shook her head, "It's been a strange day for me, Kakashi. I am not sure what you're talking about, but I appreciate that you would want to help."

Because she was damned if she did, and damned if she didn't. If she reported to the Hokage, she might not be able to keep from yelling at her idol at the stupidity of the assigned mission and perhaps garner a reprimand she didn't deserve. On the other hand, if Kakashi went ahead and told Tsunade, then it would be obvious that Tenten had failed said mission since she had been caught by the Copy Nin. But, _again_, Tenten's downcast eyes blazed, _what the hell kind of a MISSION was that ANYWAY_?

She sensed the jounin make his way closer to her, as she remained composed but steadily growing unhappier by the minute. She glanced up at him as he sat on the edge of her bed, with that non-threatening expression he usually adopted with allies.

"Gai is a good teacher," he simply said, smiling. Befuddled at the change in topic, Tenten nodded.

"At least he doesn't drink," she agreed without thinking. They stared at one another, Kakashi continuing to smile.

It clicked into place for Tenten then, the thing that had been bothering her (well, aside from the obvious), since she had spoken to the Hokage. She hadn't wanted to acknowledge it at the time, been deliberately blind to the malodorous fact, but Tenten _knew_ that Tsunade had been drunk when she had given out her instructions. Chances were, she probably didn't even remember assigning the job, as a sober Hokage would never put a shinobi on a paid mission for such a trifling thing.

And it was then that Tenten groaned. She wasn't even getting paid. Her eyes had suffered, for nothing!

"So, was the sight of all those buff male bodies worth it?" she recognized the grin now for what it was, a perverse enjoyment at another's suffering. He was not her ally, he was twisting the knife.

"Agh!" she grabbed the nearest weapon at hand, her pillow, and began to pummel him with it. She obviously did not intend to take on the legendary Hatake Kakashi in a serious fight without higher stakes. She just wanted to-- whap at him a bit to relieve her frustration.

At the same time, the sheer absurdity of the situation overcame her dismay as she finally admitted to herself that her childhood idol was a lush. Tsunade was a drunk! And she had taken advantage of Tenten's unquestioning idol worship to send her on the most ridiculous of missions! And Tenten had gone and done it! There was nothing left but to laugh it off, or go on a killing spree.

It was somewhere mid-whap that she began to giggle, despite herself, ""I said," she insisted, punctuating each word with a blow as he made a show of throwing up his hands to shield himself from her attack, "What. Are. You. Talking about?!"

He was chuckling too, but before she could continue with the pillow abuse, he quickly pinned her arms to her sides to halt the onslaught. She gasped in laughter against him.

"I admit.. to nothing!" she declared into his shoulder, "You'll never get me to talk!"

"That really isn't your problem at the moment," his voice was soft, but he spoke close to her ear, and she heard every word, "You should be worrying about how to shut _me_ up."

"Wha--?" she slowly processed how close they were to each other. She pulled back a bit to look into his face. Tenten was used to close physical contact, a taijutsu-heavy team ensured that, but she never got the highly pleasant tingly feeling she was getting now from being held in a certain Copy Nin's arms. The cause of her sudden confusion gave a brief squeeze to ensure she wouldn't try to escape. This was largely unnecessary, in Tenten's opinion, although she briefly debated pretending to make an attempt just so he would hold her tighter.

"I could tell a number of people about your spying activities," Kakashi mused, "It would be your word against mine, of course, and I have very low credibility in such matters, but..." his lone visible eyebrow waggled, "It would still cause speculation about _you_, wouldn't it?"

Tenten did not quite wiggle her eyebrows back at him but she gave that impression, "Hm. Kakashi-sensei," she emphasized the 'sensei' now, "Why this sudden interest in me?"

"A question with a question, yet another effective technique," he murmured. He suddenly heaved a sigh, and Tenten felt her own breath forced out of her as his chest pushed against hers.

"We can forget this ever happened, I suppose," he said sadly, loosening his arms and she thought in wonder that he had taken this as a rejection without any further discussion. It was over almost before she was aware it had begun. "You are a competent ninja, Tenten, to have bested me in a pillow fight."

"Kakashi," she caught hold of his face with both hands before he could move away. She wasn't about to let him play this off as a joke. "I don't think you came here to fight." The half-lidded eye only looked at her mildly. It was up to her to make the next move.

She smoothed slim fingers over his masked jaw and pulled his head closer till their forehead protectors were touching. She was well aware that her sensei would throw a fit, would challenge Kakashi to a battle to the death perhaps, for corrupting her innocence, but _damn_ if the man in front of her hadn't looked completely edible in nothing but a towel. It was the only memory of the hot springs that didn't fry her brain.

"I think, I should thank you. For what, I can't exactly put into words yet," she said solemnly, shutting one eye so she could match the one he had available. "And I want you to know..." she began to giggle again, and clamped down on it, although she could see the hint of a smile on his own face, "... that even if I will never admit to seeing you at the hot springs, I still consider you as total eye-candy."

Then, daringly, she pressed her lips against the material covering his mouth. Complete with 'mmmm' sound.

She gave him a triumphant _'So there._' look afterward, face flushed. Now he could spread all the rumors he liked.

"You are amazing," he said, and engulfed her in a hug. "I have had the most inappropriate crush on you for the longest time."

Tenten laughed.

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End

What is it they say about reviews? _'A well-rounded critique is often nyahnyahnyah...' _That's my offhand way of trying to pretend I don't care. I do. I do. Review. Thank you.


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